Memorable MondayMy Mom

Lisa wrote this beautiful tribute for the funeral.

Arlene was born August 13, in Salt lake City, Utah to Lee Burbidge and LaVerne Flowers. She was the second child of three and the only girl. She spent most of her growing up in the same house, on the same street, and with her most of her extended family. You see, Grandpa Flowers had a peach Orchard and he gave land to his children to build a house on. Most of them took advantage of that, including Lee and LaVerne.

My mom remembers how her father would come home from work, park at Grandmas, visit with her for a while, and then go outside and honk the horn on the old jeep. And minutes later his children would run as fast as their little legs could carry them down to Grandmas so dad could give them a ride home in the jeep. It was a daily treat. And one they all cherished.

Not too much later that same Jeep was involved in a car accident that took Lee's life at the age of 28, leaving a young wife, three small children, with Arlene being four. It was a devastating time for LaVerne, something she never quite got over. It was never something she talked about to her dying day.

The Flowers family rallied behind LaVerne and her kids. They each supplied money for food. They finished the house that wasn't quite complete. They provided support and love from taking care of minor scrapes, fixing broken toys, to even disciplining when the situation was called for. These wonderful people stepped in when they were needed most. She knew all of her aunts and uncles very well. She spent a lot of time with each one of them and learned the importance of family. She loved sharing stories about growing up with them. She was so proud of the little heaven her Grandpa created.

The one fortunate part to living on a street where most of your cousins live is they all took care of each other, They were friends as well as cousins. In fact, they often had a hard time including the other neighborhood kids. She tells a story about playing cowboys and indians with the neighbors and her cousin would always tie up the neighbor kid because he was an indian. He would cry and they would untie him and send him home, only for the kid to show up the next day to do it all over again.

The aunts and uncles discovered that it helped having more that one pair of eyes making sure she stayed out of trouble, and I think that egged her on in some instances. She shared stories about wheel barrow antics, playing hide and seek in cement mixers, gunny sack races and tormenting other neighborhood kids. There were probably so many more stories about what kind of things she got herself into but most of her cousins would agree she got into her fair share. But more often than not she wasn't alone! From Jimmy to Marilyn and Janet to Bette, they truly enjoyed being a family.

He grandparents also put the kids to work in the orchard and my mom learned how to work. And she learned that it felt good to help others and to be honest in your dealings with other people. And she knew how to have fun when the work was done!

Her grandparents and aunts and uncles helped provide for the young family until it was time for LaVerne to go to work full time. She became a bank teller and worked at it for the rest of her life. This was hard on Arlene again, but she was never alone. she had many eyes and ears looking after her and she developed a close relationship to her grandmother.

Arlene did not like school. In fact, she struggled in reading and math. She always said her best subject was recess, but that we needed to do better than her. She met some a close friends while in school, one whose father was in prison for robbing a bank. She used to tell the story about how he struggled being out of prison and decided to rob another bank. He walked in, ready to do the deed, saw my grandma, and promptly walked out, changing his mind. The last thing he needed to do was rob the bank that Arlene's mom worked at.

When Arlene was 18, LaVerne married Wayne Shaw, taking her and her brother to Holladay to live with his children. This proved to be a difficult situation for her. The step children were having a hard time acclimating to a new mother and her children had a hard time adjusting to a new environment. Arlene learned during this difficult time that her mother truly loved her and she didn't need to worry about that love. She would forever and always be her favorite daughter. I think that cemented their relationship and the two became so much more closer after that.

Arlene attended Granite High school and graduated in 1960. Again, she was not good at school and was so proud of graduating. Things continued to get better in Holladay. She learned to love her stepbrothers and sisters. And then it came time for her to decide what to do with her life.

She had a dream about her father that repeated itself three times and she decided that was a sign for her to go on a mission. She served in the Central States mission, which at that time covered Kansas/Missouri area. She was forever being teased by the Elders, something that continued on with the many Bishopric members over the years, actually. The missionaries even gave her a nickname. They would call her Squeeky B. She says its because her district leader Called one morning and her voice was squeeky. And she squirmed when they called her that so they continued to do so. Later, My dad loved to watch her squirm and he continued using the nickname just to get her goat.

She got sick out on the field and had to come home early but she served a successful mission and everyone was very proud of her. When she came home, discouraged by the fact that it was early, her sweet Grandmother told her it was time for her to be home. Grandmas always know what to say to make things better.

April 1st, 1968 my mom met a janitor at the ZCMI mall named Ray Wall who got under her skin. She knew his mother who worked upstairs and often ate at the lunch counter she worked at. He also lived in the same ward as one of her aunts. She would break stuff just so dad could come clean it up. She would call him over the intercom. He would forget his lunch at home so he would have to eat at the lunch counter. He continued to annoy her. And that was all she talked about at home and my grandma knew she was hooked. LaVerne kept trying to play match maker but mom would have nothing to do with it.

They both have very differing sides how they finally got together (and it was cute watching them debate at it) but they did and they were married in the Salt Lake Temple on June 28, 1968. After the reception, she and Ray stopped by her grandmas house to see her. Her grandma was sick and couldn't participate in the festivities. She always made sure to check in with her.

They started their family a year later, with Tami being born on July 4th that next year and Lisa being born less than a year later. A year and a half after that, their Christmas baby, Jeffrey, showed up a few days late.

Ray accepted a job in Vernal, Utah for and they packed up their small family. This was a difficult time for Arlene. Her mother was her constant companion and living 4 hours away proved to be difficult. And then later, her parents served a mission in Washington state, which put them even father away.

While in Vernal Debbie was born and then she had Steven, which ended up being one of the most difficult things she had ever gone through. He was born 6 weeks early and was flown to Primary Children's Hospital, 4 hours away in Salt Lake. Ray and Arlene had to have a lot of faith because they had to stay in Vernal during the week so the older kids could go to school and my dad could work. They would spend the weekends in Salt Lake, with Arlene at Steven's side. LaVerne and Melba, Ray's mom, would be there constantly during the week and that make things easier. Finally, he was able to come home and then her biggest concern was his older sister interfering, in a good way, of course. That would be me. Steven needed to sleep on a board because he was struggling with swallowing. This bothered me and i kept untying him and bringing him to her. Apparently I was very good at knots for a five year old! They finally put the board in the crib and sat me down and had a long discussion about this.

After 5 years in Vernal, they moved back to Sandy, Utah where they settled and lived for ten years. They experienced deaths of parents, survived the teenage years, and Arlene's struggling health. In 1987, Ray was transferred to Mesa, Arizona with US West. They packed up their family, and moved.

Mesa was good to my mom. She made a lot of friends, enjoyed serving in the ward. Her favorite callings were being in Primary, especially Merrie Miss. She loved the girls she served and became close to many of them. Again, she continued to make good friends, something that helped her throughout the rest of her life.

She was diagnosed with Breast cancer in 1988 and found humor as a great way to deal with her stress. She was positive and the doctors commented on how great of an attitude she had. She continued dealing with that for many years.

Her children married and had families of their own and she adored all of her grandchildren. She always wanted them to know how much she loved them. Her own grandmother was so good to her and she wanted them to feel that kind of love too,.

Arlene loved books. She loved talking about them, reading them over and over again, and loved the book store. Her favorite part of the week was going to the book store where she met ladies who had the same interest. She loved anything John Wayne. And she loved old movies.

In 2010 she went in for hip replacement and developed MRSA around the socket and joint. After another surgery and 15 weeks in the hospital she came home, realizing that life would never be the same again as she had to adjust to life in a wheelchair. It was discouraging and she was down a lot of the time but she always managed to find something to smile about. Whether it was a silly grandchild, A church leader feigning being tripped by her, a sweet card in the mail from a friend, or a good Doris Day movie with popcorn and a soda. Through her constant pain she did find joys in simple things. And mostly it was her family. They were whom she found her greatest joy.

Recently she and her husband served as missionaries in the Mesa cannery and the Bishops storehouse where she enjoyed serving and getting to know others.

SHE was so very proud of her husband, for his goodness and the acts of service he did for those around him. She considered herself blessed to have him as her husband. She adored her children and only wished we all lived closer together so we could spend more time with each other. She loved and gushed over her grandchildren. They loved her and she loved them so much! And her great grandchildren made her so proud. She was so excited to meet the next two that were almost here.

Her friends were very important to her. She missed out on having a sister and so many times these sweet sisters filled much of that void she had in her life. She used to say they were her sisters by choice. And I am so grateful she had them. They know who THEY are and I love them for the joy they brought to her life.

If Arlene were to look back on her life she would say she was happy. And her health issues gave her a chance to see what was really important in life and to find joy and satisfaction in the simple things.

She lived a good life, she wasn't quite ready to go but she knew Heavenly Father had his own plans for her. And she knew that her sweet mother, whom she missed terribly, was waiting for her with her father and they have a lot of catching up to do.

My mothers was my constant companion. I loved to serve her. But she was the one blessing me. She always expressed how much she loved me, she always made me feel important. She made me want to be a better person. She shared her feelings, fears, and heart breaks. I am so grateful we had our time together. I will always cherish these last 6 months with her.